I am such a fuck up

So, me and Mike HAD been doing better, until I fucked things up again tonight.
I read his e-mail..why I do not know, paranoia I guess, and found out that a friend of his, whom he was contemplating moving in with in frdericton has found a potential place for them...which is not a big deal, except that I was under the impression that he was not looking. Which made me mad and hurt...so I confronted him...
we talked and needless to say, I am now very upset as I have hurt him, but, I am still lost as to what is happening...I want to trust him, I do for most things, but it still seems like I am waiting for the other show to drop and for me to come home one day to his stuff being gone and me being left to sort out everything else.
He says he is not planning on doing that, and I believe him, but...part of me is still so worried that he is going to leave, just vanish, and lie to my face about it until the day he does, like he and his old roommates did to another of their roommates, Lisa.
I do not know, I am just being paranoid, probably..
I just know that right now, he is mad at me and I am lost as to what to do...
I cannot make him not mad at me, and he has every right to feel that way right now...but, again, he broke trust with me as well.